Think. Believe. Create.

never really grasped the concept of blogs. its a public diary to tell the world of your most random thoughts to your most deepest secrets. yet we all share these stories that can be read by total strangers. do we expose ourselves in hopes that we find other people who can relate or are we really that confident where we just say anything and not care about what anyone thinks? either way its a mind boggling concept but i still find myself doing it anyway.

not too long ago i went back and read my blogs from years past. back when i was a teenager whose biggest worry was to pass my driving test (i was never good at taking tests) or dreading to go to work for three hours on a weekend. oh those were the days of nothing but enjoying the company of friends while occasionally cramming for a test after partying the night before. although, life during my college years was not too different from high school and everywhere in between just becomes a blur. good thing i documented everything accompanied by millions of candid pictures.

looking back made me realize how many milestones i’ve encountered over the years and how much has changed. the people i’ve met, those i’ve lost, and the decisions i’ve made all brings me to where i am today. one thing i learned that was or still is a struggle for me is letting go. letting go of loved ones, longing to hear their voice to the point where the best part of your day is sleeping in hopes to get a glimpse of them again. getting the courage of letting go of a job i was once comfortable with and trapped in. letting go of the security blanket my parents kept over my head and learning to finally be on my own. letting go of someone i once loved for so long, accepting the fact that its not me that can make them happy anymore.

other than having the pleasure of friends and family to get through these times i found another confidant. music. i never knew how much music can help me get through such heartache and pain. makes me feel like i’m not alone. that i’m not the only one going through this. that it will get better.  i’m sure that statement is true but there are times when loneliness creeps up on me and i feel helpless, lost, and confused. but life is short. and i have to remind myself that i was given the chance to do something with my life and i intend to do so. as i sit here in my room staring at the blank walls in my new apartment i can’t help but think of it as a new canvas. a clean slate. another milestone. another journey. i’m grateful to have the memories to look back on but eager to see what lies ahead and making new ones.

…and so it goes.